Trans sequnce redux 1

We begin with our young subject, Randy, (victim XD) who is just getting home from basketball practice. He drops his bag in the living room; his mother is currently at work and his father is on a business trip. It's about nine o' clock at night so the house is dark. Randy walks into his room and removes his shoes, finally noticing how unusually warm it is, dizzyingly warm.

“Uhhh…..I guess I’m more tired than I thought…” Opening up his window and leaning against the wall as the light of the full moon floods in, reflecting off of his brown eyes (DUN, DUN, DUUUUUNNNN….). “Shower…. will help me cool off…” Randy mumbles, but as he turns to leave, he feels a sharp pain in his right hand.” Ow! What the--!?” He stares at his hand as shiny black claws crack through his fingernails, causing blood to flow from his cuticles and dripping onto the carpet. His feet are in a similar state.

The boy falls to his knees as the bones in his feet practically break in several places and his knees pop; He's too shocked to scream in pain.

******
Man I hate using present tense for writing……. It feels so n00b-ish……